UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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