She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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