If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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