Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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