have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
