Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
