His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
