i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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