He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
