Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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