playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
