It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I love you.
Bad choice
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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