She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
