she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
