dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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