Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This baby is an asshole
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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