I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
