I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
