just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
