my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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