i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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