So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
