I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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