I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
