careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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