I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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