My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
