If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
