Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Come on in and take your pants off
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