Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
People in love make me want to vomit
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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