im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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