Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
