im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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