He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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