We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
