I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
