first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i love accidental penises.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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