My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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