But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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