never play flip cup with pint glasses
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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