we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
