Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
