Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
