so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
