dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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