Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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