i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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