I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
