Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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