when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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