I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
