ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
