I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize