just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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