Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
