no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
