party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
