You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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