guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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