I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
