i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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