the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
