Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
