If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
