No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
