At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
honey bunches of taint.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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