I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
God I need to hump something, right now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
