My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
