Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
