I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
