Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
