This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
