I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
